EBT is not happiness training. Happiness is . . . well . . . thin, rather unimpressive, and so dependent upon our external world.
If you’re an EBTer, you know how to get from stress to joy, that “spiraling up” sensation you’ve come to trust, and even revere. I say revere because it’s biological. From the moment of conception, you had the genetic code that could transform misery into love, compassion, gratitude, hope, forgiveness, awe, and joy.
What about those rather “mediocre” moods?
Yet when life dishes up our fair share of misery, and we’re trying to “cope” with it, sometimes an admittedly mediocre mood settles in. I have one now. Some health problems started visiting me in the last couple of months, and despite my best efforts, I’m hurting and plenty tired.
However, I know and love the resiliency pathways in my emotional brain, so I’m not going to put up with that, mainly because I know it’s biochemical. I know the more my body and brain are steeping in stress chemicals, the more I’m at risk for all the chronic diseases and mental health problems. Who needs that?
A dopamine spurt that feels heaven-sent
It doesn’t take me long to gravitate to using one of my favorite EBT tools. Two of them came to mind – the 3 Questions (it’s on Spiral Up #3) and the “Given the Situation” Tool that can accompany the Take Action Tool.
What matters is not the specific tool, but its mechanism of action – what makes it switch off the Stress Triangle, and activate sustainable surges of dopamine and endorphins. Why do these work?
Being lovingly seen, heard, and felt
Imagine back in hunter-gatherer times when people negotiated countless treacheries from lakes, rivers, mountains, insects, and various mammals. The only safety was in the loving connection with another. Go it alone or aggravate your neighbor and then nobody would chase away a hungry lion or step on a spider that was just about to crawl up your leg.
Knowing that, I asked myself, “What about a Joy Point?” After all, it only takes about 20 seconds, sometimes a tad more, of brain work.
I thought of all those stress chemicals bathing every cell of my body and decided to give it a go. Apathy about stress chemicals is not in my playbook.
Given the situation . . .
I whipped out my app and touched on the Spiral Up #1 Instant Boost. I was too tired to use Spiral Up #2 Quick & Easy.
Ahh, perfect . . . I made a quick pass through the eight emotions of the natural flow of feelings, then instead of launching into “I expect myself to do the best I can to . . . ” I paused.
I tossed one cell of my body up in the air far enough to look down at myself. That was the transformative moment. Instead of mulling in my misery, I separated from it and said, “Given the situation . . . all I have been through . . . ” and really seeing, feeling, and knowing myself.
The biochemical shift from stress to joy
How refreshing. There I was, this little person on her own unique journey and feeling rather blah. At once the pain in my body eased. I felt lighter. What do you know, I do exist after all. I am not bad. I do have power. I can do good. I can love. I am worthy. I can have joy, in fact, my essence is joy. (A little Core Grind In helps, too).
Just seeing myself, and feeling seen, heard, and felt by myself, shifted my entire biochemistry. Gone were the tension and heaviness. Now I could breathe freely and wonder why I felt so blah.
The power of the Take Action Tool
Then I finished off my Take Action Tool: I expect myself to do the best I can to create joy in my life. Positive, powerful thought? It’s not that hard. The essential pain? Truly, I have to give up all the fun of being a little miserable! The earned reward? Freedom!
Well, thanks for reading this! I’m back to joy now, and by taking time to let my fingers dance across the keyboard, with you listening to me (in my imagination), I don’t feel blah at all. In fact, I feel the beginnings of some zest for life, and gratitude for the many blessings I could not fathom a few moments ago!